Leadership is easy when everything is going well.
When the team is winning, people are performing, everyone is getting along and the plan is working, it’s easy to look like a good leader.
I think you learn much more about leadership when things aren’t going well.
When there’s pressure.
When someone makes a mistake.
When people disagree.
When the result doesn’t go your way.
When you have to make a decision that not everyone is going to like.
Those are the moments that show you what kind of leader you really are.
Some of My First Lessons in Leadership Came From My Brothers
In Champions Are Made in the Dark, I write about my brothers and the role I played in their lives.
Looking back, some of my earliest lessons in leadership came from those years.
I didn't think of it as leadership at the time. I was doing what needed to be done.
I looked out for them. I tried to protect them. I took responsibility. There were times when I had to be strong even when I didn't necessarily feel strong myself.
And I learned very early that when other people are relying on you, leadership isn't about you.
It's about what they need from you.
Sometimes they needed me to step up. Sometimes they needed me to make a decision. Sometimes they needed someone beside them. And sometimes they just needed to know I was there.
I didn't always get it right.
But I gained something from those experiences that stayed with me long after we grew up.
I learned responsibility.
I learned to read what was happening around me.
I learned that people don't always need you to fix everything.
I learned to keep going when things were difficult.
And I learned that leadership is as much about caring for people as it is about getting them somewhere.
Years later, sport reinforced many of those same lessons.
Leadership Isn't a Title
Sport gave leadership a different setting, but many of the principles were the same.
Leadership wasn't always the loudest person in the room or the person with the title.
Often, it was much simpler than that.
It was showing up.
Doing the work.
Looking out for the people around you.
Holding yourself to the same standard you expected from others.
And when things got difficult, not disappearing.
I've learned that having a title doesn't automatically make someone a leader.
A title gives you responsibility.
What you do with that responsibility is leadership.
People Remember How You Made Them Feel
We talk a lot about results when we talk about leadership.
Did we win?
Did we hit the target?
Did we get the job done?
Results matter. Of course they do.
But I think there is another question worth asking:
What happened to the people along the way?
You can get a result and still leave people feeling unheard, unsupported or afraid to make a mistake.
You can also hold people accountable, expect high standards and have difficult conversations without making people feel small.
Those things aren't opposites.
Some of the leaders I've respected most expected a lot from me. They challenged me. They didn't let me take shortcuts.
But I always knew they wanted me to succeed.
There is a big difference between being challenged by someone who believes in you and being diminished by someone who has power over you.
Pressure Reveals More Than Performance
One of the things high-performance sport teaches you very quickly is that pressure changes people.
It's easy to talk about your values when they aren't being tested.
It's harder when you're tired, frustrated, losing or under pressure to perform.
That's when the small things matter.
How do you speak to people?
Who gets blamed?
Do you take responsibility?
Can you listen when somebody disagrees with you?
Can you make a mistake and own it?
Can the people around you tell you the truth?
For me, those questions say far more about leadership than anything written underneath someone's name on an email signature.
You Don't Have to Lead From the Front
Leadership happens everywhere.
It's the person who checks on a teammate after a bad game.
It's the person who speaks up when something isn't right.
It's the person who does the work when nobody is watching.
It's the person who brings calm when everyone else is reacting.
And sometimes it's the person who is willing to say, we can do this better.
You don't need permission to lead like that.
What Leadership Has Come to Mean to Me
Writing Champions Are Made in the Dark made me think about where some of these lessons actually began.
Long before the world championships, the workplaces, the leadership roles or any title, there were lessons being learned.
Some came from my brothers.
Some came from sport.
Some came from people who showed me exactly the kind of leader I wanted to be.
And some came from people who showed me the opposite.
I've taken something from all of them.
Leadership, for me, isn't about being the person with all the answers.
It's taking responsibility.
It's having standards and living by them yourself.
It's knowing when to speak and when to listen.
It's being prepared to have the difficult conversation.
It's recognising that the people you lead are people first.
And it's understanding that how you get somewhere matters just as much as getting there.
Anyone can lead when everything is going their way.
Who you are when it isn't tells us much more.
— Tui Katene